You may take the quiz in either a public or a private place, though the phrase 'public or private' may be meaningless in an age of mass surveillance, a 24-hour news cycle and integrated communication media using powerful lenses, satellite and digital technologies.
You may or not remove your upper garments. It is your choice.
You will be photographed. Many times and by many means. With and without your permission.
You may use the answers given or, alternatively, you may provide your own. That generally works better. Good luck.
Is the woman, photographed topless in a French magazine, a woman?
Yes, and she is a wealthy aristocrat, a symbol of a country and a media celebrity in a line connecting with her late mother-in-law.
Are we shocked that a photograph of a woman wearing no clothes on her upper body appears in a magazine?
No, we are not shocked. Many such images appear in magazines, websites, newspapers and in broadcast media every day, all across the globe, including in London (51 degrees North, 0 degrees West) tabloids.
Do the women who appear topless in London tabloids do so of their own volition?
Depends on how that is judged. Economic necessity is a strong force.
Why the uproar?
Hard to say.
Did the photographer and the owner of the French magazine break the law?
Yes, they broke French privacy laws.
Why?
Money.
Who owns the French magazine?
Follow the money. Far.
What is the context in which this occurs?
Wealth, privilege, media-courting, power, inequality, national symbolism, race/national/ethnic strain between England and France, threatened identities, a woman angry and upset, the battle between 'old' money and 'new' money, media-hating.
Why will the woman sue the French magazine?
To keep the London media at heel.
Will England and France go to war over this?
It is to be hoped not, as they are both grotesquely armed, belligerent nations, with nuclear and other weapons of mass destruction and a long history of warmongering. There are, however, historical precedents for aristocrats leading citizens to their deaths in battles over land, chattels and women.
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.
Did the citizens photographed by surveillance cameras, whose images appeared in The Derry Journal, give their permission for the photographs to be taken?
No.
When was the last time your photograph was taken without your permission and circulated on private and public media?
I don't know.
Does all this matter?
Yes, though aspects act as a diversion, a money-maker and a media sideshow.
How will it end?
Not without effort. And a significant lessening of double-standards.
Thank you for taking the quiz. Do not send your answers to St. James Palace. The Palace is busy considering offers from magazines for photographs of the likely christening of the woman's future child.
Do not send your photo, topless or otherwise, to a tabloid of your choice.
The prize of a luxury house in Provence, France, has already been awarded to the young woman who appeared on the front page of The Derry Journal in a story about sleeping on the sofa in her paternal grandfather's home, with her two children, because she is homeless. She is advised to give up her job to better her chances of getting a house. A house in the south of France, even though it is near a public road, suits her and her children well.
Henry V; stage-play; William Shakespeare; 1599
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